18 Feb 2015

Pregnancy Update

I have been putting off writing this as I had hoped I could explain it all in one post. 

R.I.P little one. x

On Friday the 6th February we went for our 9 week scan. This appointment didn't go as planned the midwife was unable to see anything with an external scan so advised that she would have to do internal scan again. This made me uneasy as she should have been able to see baby. 

She did the scan and got another midwife to come in and verify results before informing us that baby didn't have heartbeat and had passed possibly 1 week earlier. This is called a missed miscarriage when your body doesn't pass the pregnancy straight away. As you can imagine we were and still are devastated. 

We were then advised of our options we had 3 choices go home and wait for my body to pass the pregnancy, come back in at 8:30am the following morning and have some tablets inserted to encourage the pregnancy to pass or have a surgical procedure to remove pregnancy.

I opted to allow my body to do it the natural way. It has now been almost 2 weeks and I have had no sign that my body is dealing with the loss of the pregnancy (although I no longer feel pregnant) I have an appointment on Tuesday to have another scan to see what is going on and I think they will recommend that I consider one of the other options. Personally I would like to have this sorted with in February and not carry over into March. So think I will agree to having the tablets. 

I may also come across as being unfeeling or hard about this but that is just how I personally deal with thing I rationalize them and move on. In this case I believe I wasn't off my Methotrexate long enough before conceiving.  UK guidelines say 3 months but US say 6 months, when we conceived that would have only been 5 months. 

The hardest part of all this is my daughter was so excited in fact she still is as we have no idea of what to say to her as she is only 4. I really don't want her to know that children and babies can die. That hard enough for adults to get their head around. 

I will do another post once the baby has past. As I think it will be helpful to others and also to myself.